


Heaven in Hell

by WritingforTheAvengers



Category: Avengers, Clint Barton - Fandom, Hawkeye - Fandom, MCU, Marvel
Genre: Angsty-ish, F/M, Fallen Angel!Reader, Fluff, mentions of sexual abuse, not actual sexual abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-02 00:59:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13307046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingforTheAvengers/pseuds/WritingforTheAvengers
Summary: An angel in Hell’s Kitchen. That sounded like the most ridiculous idea, and perhaps the world’s greatest irony, yet, it wasn’t far from being truth, only you weren't an angel.





	1. Chapter 1

An angel in Hell’s Kitchen. That sounded like the most ridiculous idea and perhaps the world’s greatest irony, yet, it wasn’t that far from being truth. You were not exactly an angel as you were degraded and sent (or thrown) to live a life of doom, suffering and all that they tell you about in the bible when you don’t do as the, big guy, the holy deity said.

Luckily for you; you were neither the first nor the last angel to fall down to earth and the community was getting higher every passing day. You were not the sadistic and weird people some books showed. You were actually the type of normal people that upon an unfortunate series of events fell down to Earth; you needed to live a normal life and so you did. You, and most of the ones of your kind, had regular jobs and tried to live as undercover as you could. It was a good way not to die of boredom because your lifespan was drastically reduced to a couple of hundreds of years. Still a lot for a human, but not long for an angel. As an angel, you saw the begining of the world, but you'd fallen just a couple of centuries ago; you were sure you wouldn't last much longer.

Your “condition” could not be cured, yet it could be reversed by two possible outcomes. You, doing something utterly uninterested by someone else (hopefully a human being) or falling in love (again, with a human being). The first one usually meant dying for a person and going to the so called heaven. In case the second one happened, your wings would be taken away forever and you’d live a normal life as a human. Both outcomes were good but you still hoped for helping someone else; love was never an option, for anyone of your kind.

Fallen angels usually hung out at a seedy bar at Hell’s Kitchen. A few humans were allowed and you always saw this one particular man that hung out carelessly with creatures that came out from ancient stories that humans used to tell with fear in their voices, but the Middle Ages were gone and nobody read about the ones like you except in fan fiction and literature for the younger ones; at least, no one depicted you as cruel and unfeeling anymore. The man was not afraid, not even close, and he seemed to have no clue of the mess he was stepping in. He had a built body and you were caught staring at him more than a few times by the bartender, fallen angel and self proclaimed, best friend of yours, Zephyr.

She said his name was Clint, and that he had asked about you for at least 7 months, but as she couldn’t really reveal your condition or identity, or anything in general, she simply replied that you were more of a lone wolf and you hated people in general. The truth was that you found quite interesting the ability he had to mix with everyone in there. They were all fallen angels and he was just a plain human that fit into place perfectly. You wanted to know more, but knowledge had a price and you didn't want to know what was it.

He always looked at you and raised his glass whenever he was drinking. You, instead, looked away and sighed every time; he was interesting indeed, but you were a fallen angel and there was no way you could even start to think about falling for him. He better not tried to hit on you, for it was dangerous for both of you. It’s not like you didn’t want to live a human life; you thought it was quite exciting, but you still wanted your life as an angel back.

Being a fallen angel was not completely bad. You still had that… Heavenly strength and a sense of heroicness for which you were grateful for, besides from having enhanced senses; it was why you could hear something in and alley near the bar: screams. A woman screaming. You thanked your fellow fallen angel and bartender for the drink and ran out of the bar quickly, not noticing who followed your steps.

Two bear-looking guys had a woman against a brick wall in the darkest alley they could find. She tried to cry out for help but they had her mouth covered and they tried to… They wanted to abuse her. ‘ _Not on my watch, bastards_.’ You thought to yourself as you ran to the crime scene.

“Leave her alone and no one gets hurt,” you calmly threatened. The men turned around and lasciviously looked at you; one of them even licked his lips. “I’m being serious, guys,” you rolled your eyes.

“Seems like we have another pussycat to play with, don't we?” One said to his mate. “I wanna have this one” He gave a teethy smile, walking near as any animal would do with its prey. It wasn't the first time you'd been into this situation, 2018 was a dangerous year for women and New York was not the safest place; the only place you could think of that was safe was probably Iceland, but that was too cold for you to lay low.

When he was about to reach you, your ebony wings pushed him away, making him crash and lost consciousness onto the other wall. Your right arm was twice its size now, and from your hand, pointy black claws replaced your perfectly done nails. The other man didn’t need to think twice. He ran away like a chicken and the woman was left alone. You hid your wings again and slowly walked next to her, looking like a normal person. Her legs trembled in fear; you sympathised with her sentiment, it's not an everyday thing that two men try to abuse you and a person with wings and claws comes to your rescue; her feelings were nothing but normal.

“Are you ok?” You asked, peacefully reaching out your hand at her. “I’m not gonna hurt you, but I need an answer, are you ok?” She nodded nervously and when she tried to get away from you, her knees faltered and she fell to the ground on her butt. “Let me help you, please,” you kneeled next to her and helped the woman to get up again. “You need to go to the police and tell them what these guys tried to do. They can’t be out there anymore," you sighed, "but don’t tell them I was here."

“W-what are you…?” She breathed. “You’re not a human…”

“Nope," you shook your head, "I’m not, but I still can’t tell you what I am,” you pursed your lips into a somewhat smile and sighed, “but go," you urged her, "and don’t say a word about me. It’s better for both of us,” you caressed her hand. “Now go, and please, be safe,” the woman nodded and got on her feet immediately. You heard her bumping into someone saying sorry to one person and you turned around in a split second.

It was the man from the bar. You wondered how much he had seen or if he even saw something. You tried to look cool as if you only punched some douche bags in the face, but the figure lying on the concrete showed more than just a few rounds of a fight that only included fists.

“Hey there,” he called. “Rough night, huh?” He nodded his head quickly at you.

“I guess so,” you shrugged carelessly. “What about you? Following random people into alleys?”

“Not exactly. I was following just you; that doesn't make you random, or people,” he took a step closer. “I’m gonna ask this really quick and bluntly… Are you a mutant?”

“Excuse me?” You asked, raising both eyebrows in astonishment. “What did you say?”

“You know, mutants? People with some effects of evolution. They might develop powers or conditions beyond human”, he explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I know what a mutant is,” you scoffed and rolled your eyes, thinking that you'd seen primates mutate into humans. “The thing is that I don’t understand why you’d ask something like that.”

“Don’t try to fool me. I’m smarter than I look," he shrugged and chuckled. "I saw the wings and I saw how that man flew to the wall,” he pointed at the man who still laid in there. “Now really, are you a mutant? I didn't know they'd got to this part of town.”

“No,” you snorted “I'm not a mutant. I'm something else, but you wouldn’t understand,” you said in a matter-of-factly voice.

“Believe me doll, I have seen shit you’d never believe,” he laughed. "I've seen gods and I've seen monsters," he spoke calmly, "you can't have as many surprises," the man twisted his lips in a careless mock.

You shook your head slightly to get your mind straight and tried to get out of the alley, but a strong hand grabbed your arm tightly, it was his strong hand. He looked at you deeply and tried to get a hint of an expression or something that would make you waver and confess your true nature.

“Why do you even hang out at a place like that?” He asked.

“You’re the one who should visit some new places,” you slyly replied. “That’s not a place for someone like you to hang out at. Besides, you’re the one that keeps staring and asking for me.”

“Zephyr told you, right?” He blushed and looked away, loosening the grip on your arm.

“We’ve known the other for longer time…” you smiled. “Look, all I can tell you about me is that I’m dangerous and you better forget about me, you'll be safer that way.”

“The thing is that I can’t,” he sighed. “What do you say if we go out to a better place? It doesn’t have to be right now.”

“Come to my place tomorrow night, ask Zephyr and tell her I told you. Please, don’t bring anyone else.”

“I would never…”

You walked past him back to your apartment, wondering if this was a good idea, but what’s done is done and there was no turning back and no point in regretting what you had done. You felt like he deserved for an explanation because he saw you and because you had to give him some credit too; he had been asking for you for quite a long time. No one does that.

The day after, you went to the grocery shop to get some fancy cheese and fancy drinks. If you were going to be a good host you needed to have some better drinks than what you usually drank at the bar, even though that was not really that hard to accomplish. You let your hair loose that evening and wore a backless black top, a red flannel shirt over it and finished your look with a pair of black tight leathery jeans. 

At 10 o’clock a soft knock interrupted your thoughts. It was Clint and he carried a bottle of wine in his hands. You welcomed him inside and took the bottle to the fridge. You had a very nice place for having no job at all, but fallen angels always helped one another; they were a community that supported one another, and there was a saying that went like: it's better to have friends than money in your pockets, you had learnt that while living in South America during the past century but you hand't thought about it in a very long time, so you weren't really sure if it went like that, or if you had gotten lost in translation. You had some nice chattering about each other’s day and then the whole inquiring about your nature began.

“I shouldn’t be doing this… But I think you deserve to know what I am because you’ve been trying to get to me for a long now. I won’t ask the reasons, but I do want you to leave after you see it and please don’t ever talk about it,” you gulped, and quickly glancing at him you saw how his eyes blinked quickly in bewilderment; he wasn't used to orders or at least, not to yours. “I'm serious, forget about me”

You took out your flannel shirt and threw it on the couch next to you; you slowly turned around and he saw the two scars that formed the shape of a ‘V’ where your wings were hidden. You heard how Clint’s breathing changed and you felt ashamed of yourself; not for what you were showing, but for not being a holy creature any more. The few angels of god that wandered the world always gave you and your kind the nastiest of looks, especially the younger ones, but you were not bad; you just had your doubts.

He took a few steps closer to you and placed both hands on your shoulders; you shivered under his warm, and almost loving, touch and he heavily sighed, pulling you in for a hug. He rested his head on the crook of your neck and his hands intertwined on your stomach. In your stiffness, you felt his chest heaving, and realized that his hands were not there to trap you and end you, even though they couldn't put an end to you that easily. It was a longing touch, one that was caged for, seemingly, too long.

“I would never forget you…” he whispered, you blissfully sighed when his hot breath brushed your skin. “I don’t think you have a slight clue of what I feel for you…”

“Disgust?” You whispered almost inaudibly.

“Not even close,” he said and you could imagine that smug, that shit eating face he had right now. “You know… I don’t know what you are but-”

“A fallen angel,” you confessed coldly. “I’m a fallen angel.”

He made you turn around and quickly pressed his lips against yours. He didn’t care about whatever in hell, or heaven, you were. He was so utterly in love with you and he was desperate to show you that you felt overwhelmed and stood still for a few seconds. You instinctively roamed your hands up his trained arms and placed them on his shoulders, crossing them to make sure he was not going anywhere. Your waist was held tightly by a pair of big and strong hands that pulled you closer to a warm body. Clint’s lips moved passionately against yours, they were making up for half a year of silent love.

“I don’t care what you are,” he breathed against your lips while your foreheads were together. “I love you, and I've done it for so-”

“You don’t even know the dangers you’d be put through if you choose to stay with me,” you chimed in.

“Honey, I’m an Avenger,” he chuckled heartedly. “I don’t think there’s anything more dangerous than that.”


	2. Chapter 2

“So, how did you become a fallen angel?” Clint said as he stroke your shoulder lightly. You were lying comfortably on top of his bare chest. “I mean, how does that happen?”

  
“I had my doubts; I still do,” you replied simply, intertwining your legs with his. “In the first place, god is a faceless figure to all of us, humans and angels all the same, so our whole lives depend on someone we don’t even know if it actually exists. Who is this god? And why would he make a distinction between humans and angels?” Clint hummed in acknowledgement. “Think about it, the Bible says that god created humans to his own image, but you guys are so weak… so fragile, no offense.”

  
“None taken,” he chimed in.

  
“If this god made you to its image, wouldn’t you guys be perfect? Wouldn’t your lives last many years? Because there aren’t many people who live more than a hundred years, and those who pull that off are in terrible conditions most of the time. I mean, if you were perfect you wouldn’t even need angels for that matters, and you wouldn’t be so angry all the time, and there wouldn’t be wars… I just don’t like the fact that god turns his head away whenever things get rough; I’ve seen millions murdered for so many wrong reasons that you wouldn’t believe…” you gulped. “But anyway,” you shook your head and rested your chin on him to look into those gorgeous eyes, “tell me a bit about yourself, it’s our first date-ish, we have already slept together, and I barely know who you are.”

  
“My name is Clint, I was raised by carnies and now I am an avenger. I’m very human, full of flaws, weak and fragile, I can’t hear very well sometimes, and I have a sick dependence to coffee. Oh, and did I tell that I had a thing for fallen angels?” He said, shrugging casually.

  
“That sounds like a Tinder profile I would swipe right to,” you chuckled. You rolled off on your side and yawned loudly. “I’m hungry, should we order some pizza?”

That one night stand did not stay as a one night; in fact, you two became closer and closer until the next thing you know is that Clint is living in your apartment and that you’ve met The Avengers. They were a nice group, and quite welcoming; Natasha, the redhead was the most eager to be with you because she said the group lacked females. You two had become quite close since she was Clint’s best friend too. You had gone in a few missions with them in case they needed help, and they were most grateful to you for that.

“So, I don’t mean to pry, but… is there a way that you can become human or an angel again?” She asked. You two were sitting together on the couch while the others tried to lift Thor’s hammer, for the hundredth time as the redhead told you earlier.

“Yes, but there aren’t many of us who want to become humans; I told Clint when we met that you guys were kind of fragile and I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have these extra abilities… besides, he met me like this, I can’t deny I’m a bit scared that he wouldn’t want me as a human, or that I wouldn’t be of any use to you guys—”

“That’s nonsense,” Sam said, falling onto the couch next to Natasha and sneaking a hand behind her back. “Most of us are humans, even Steve and Bucky, and even you, Nat,” he nuzzled at her neck.

“Being human is not as crappy as you make it look like, (Y/N),” Clint said from over his shoulder, but when he saw that your face had been taken over by a distressed expression, he left his doing and sat next to you and held your hand gently. “We have our perks,” he kissed your temple, “and if you ask me, I’ll still have you, the wings make no difference,” he smiled proudly of his gallantry, and you had to look away or you’d laugh so hard that you would spit on his face. “I love you, by the way,” he said to your ear, making sure no one would listen. You froze.

“(Y/N) are you okay?” Sam asked, taking you out of your stiffness and daydreaming. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“It’s an angel thing,” you moved your hand in a careless manner. “We zone out sometimes.”

But you were contemplating all of the choices you’ve done in the past few years. How meeting Clint had become a somewhat doom for you and your lifestyle. You didn’t want to admit it, and you hoped it didn’t last long enough to make you a human, but you were taken out of your thoughts, completely by surprise, as Tony ran towards all of you with the news of an emergency mission.

Arrows, bullets, laser beams, and even thunder flew over your head. This was the first time that you’d been on a mission so dangerous and it was also the very first time that you feared for your life. A building was falling and there were people inside screaming and crying for help; you couldn’t look away. You had just met the adaptoids and how much of a pain in the ass they could be, but it was until too late that you realized that they copied your mates’ moves and abilities.

“Baby, take Wanda, Stark, Wilson and Thor to get that people out of the building; the rest of us can work here with the adaptoids,” Clint squeezed your shoulder lightly and you nodded and the newly formed unit followed you.

The task was quite simple: Wanda and you would keep the civilians’ exits safe and the men would take them out, while the others watched your team’s back. Out of a sudden, you feel the screams coming from behind you. You shook your head and flew there, leaving them for what you thought it wouldn’t really take long.

Angels in general had one weak point; well, two, if you count each wing as one. Cutting them off was the most painful thing an angel, fallen or not, could go through, and the many years of existence were never enough to make you feel ready for that. It didn’t feel like a limb being removed, but more like being burned alive and from the insides. Another terrible kind of pain was being shot on the back; as it was your wings’ hiding spot, it was very vulnerable and you prayed that those stupid adaptoids wouldn’t shoot any of their newly acquired abilities.

But you saw it, you felt it, and you goddamned knew it. You could hear a laser blast behind you and then time started to pass on slow motion. You had two options: the first one was to move away and let the person die, and the other one was to take the shot and, most probably, die. You didn’t think it twice, and you held the person with your hand and let the impact hit you instead. You could feel your teeth gritting and your whole body burning. You could also hear Clint screaming in the back, screaming for you.

Trying to keep conscious was hard, but once you were more or less sure that the person was safe, you let go, and before you could let yourself go, Clint was already holding your body and, although it was a terrible sight to see him crying, he was a nice last view. His arms shook uncontrollably, and trying to keep a smile on your face didn’t calm him at all. He tried to take some rebel hairs form your face.

“I’m not going to make it,” you whispered. You were dying to scream in pain, but Zephyr told you that it had no use, and that the pain would only feel worse. “And don’t tell me that I will because I know I won’t… this is how you end us.”

“You can’t leave me,” he stammered. “(Y/N), you can’t fucking leave me.”

“For what it’s worth,” your lips felt numb and your words were sloppier each second, “I do love you too, and I wish I’d told you this earlier, but it terrified me to think that you wouldn’t want me as a human…” your eyes got teary, and the pain was unbearable. “Tell Zephyr what happened, and tell her she won, she’ll know what I mean…” With great effort, you cupped Clint’s face with one hand. “Thank you for making this last year the best of my whole existence, I really do love you,” you sighed, feeling ready and at peace to leave the world of the mortals.

* * *

You must have done something extremely good and uninterested to make the people upstairs let you come back to earth and as an angel; nobody got that lucky. The first thing you do was going back to Zephyr and get yourself updated with the news on the gorgeous New York City. The first thing she told you was that Clint did not go to the bar anymore and that she actually hadn’t seen him since you died, and that happened almost exactly a year ago.

“I want to see him,” you sighed. “I miss him a lot, actually.”

“I don’t think you should see him,” she warned, “I’m sure he still blames himself for what happened; he told me, in an incredibly detailed way, if I may add,” she twisted her lips. “Besides you’re an angel now, and… you’ll live forever and—oh god, you’re gonna do it anyway, right?”

“I’m sorry!” You rose your palms in a defensive manner. “That guy’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me in… thousands of years. I mean—even if I’m an angel now, what I feel for him hasn’t changed at all. I’m gonna go look for him, I don’t give a shit.”

“What if he moved on?”

“Well, I’ll cross that bridge when I get there,” you shrugged and left the bar. She was right as much as you hated to admit it, what if he had moved on? You couldn’t deny that a year, for a human, was actually a great amount of time.

You stayed in your old apartment until you decided it was time for the confrontation. It was day of the dead and, what started as a silly thought, ended up in a very real visit to the cemetery.

“I really hope you guys are not leaving those flowers for me,” you snorted behind them all.

You could feel how the supposedly mightiest heroes on Earth froze the very minute they heard your voice. None of them wanted to turn around first, but everyone elbowed at Clint and hissed at him to make sure it was real and not some silly joke. Your gravestone was actually real pretty, and it had some sort of runes on the borders, and to each side, a pair of grey wings. It was a very nice touch.

You saw that the stone didn’t have a name, but instead, an inscription on cursive handwriting that took your breath away. “ _See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared._ ” It was one of your favorite things that humans had written about angels; none of them had any way of knowing it, but they knew you, it sounded like something you would’ve liked.

“I must have told you I like hydrangeas, not roses,” you folded your arms as you waited for Clint to turn around and, hopefully, not pass out. He and the rest did it slowly, fearfully as they weren’t sure if it was a dream or not that you were there. It was the day of the dead and he was in a cemetery, and after all, legend has it that ghosts could be lurking around, and yours could be there too, but nothing had prepared him, or anyone, to have a solid representation of your mortal body right there before their still incredulous eyes. “It’s funny, I didn’t really take you for the kind of people who’d leave flowers, especially on a day of the dead.”

“Is this some kind of sick joke? Are you an actress?” He asked simply, Natasha glared at him.

“First you think I am mutant and now that I’m an actress?” You shook your head lightly. “I’ll admit it’s been a while, and that I didn’t leave any sign, and that it was bloody, messy and all that shit, but it is I,” you shrugged, hoping that they would recognize your simplicity and your lack of tact. The only thing that wandered through your mind was that they would still take you back. “I guess I forgot to mention the thing about the wings…” you sighed.

“What are you now?” Clint asked, trying hard to keep his composure.

“Why don’t you come and find out?”

He walked to you, but the first thing he did was to pull you closer and wrap his longing arms around your torso; you couldn’t deny that you missed the feeling of home and safety that his body always provided. You sneaked your arms under his and held on to his shoulders, leaning your head on the crook of his neck.

“I’m an angel Clint,” you whispered, “the big guys made me chose, and I said I wanted to come back, and they gave me my old wings, they’re prettier than the older ones.”

“You came back,” Clint looked at you and cupped your face. “I’m sorry, I really can’t say much more than this—I thought—just thank you,” he sighed finally and you gave in for another hug. “What happens now?”

“We stay together,” you smiled and looked at the team. “All of us… Well, if you have me.”

“Are you kidding?” Natasha loudly said from behind Clint. “We haven’t had any other woman coming into our team in a whole year! Of course we’ll have you! At least I know I will,” she smiled widely and joined to yours and Clint’s hug; the rest of the team followed soon.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the 2018 version of something I did in 2016, I'm proud of how it turned out! Feedback is love <3


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